What a lovely day. (sarcasm)

Today was one of those days.

Ughhh. That's how I've been all day.

This weekend was very fun, and I didn't get enough sleep, so that could explain some of it. A few of my friends came home with me and we did everything there is to do in Maryville, Knoxville, and the mountains--almost everything; I ran out of money.

So last night I went to sleep at 10 o'clock, refused to get up and run this morning, and slept in until 9:00. All day I've been lazy and hateful. I didn't even scream in excitement as I opened my copy of the Septuagint and Grammatical Analysis of the Greek New Testament. Not my usual behavior. I was aware of how single I am, how hard it is to trust God, how I'm failing in life, how cold it is outside...I am so discontent. And selfish. Not to mention prideful. I better stop before I start cussing, because I sure have been in my head.

I don't know what to do! Then I took a shower and reflected on how I was acting. Then the song "Your Grace is Enough" popped into my head, and now I'm feeling a little bit better.

Of course I don't want to complain to the whole world...kind of sounds like it though...but I also want to encourage everyone that God has promised us He will give us the desires of our hearts. He also promises that His will will be done and it's going to be good. So get past yourself *I'm talking to myself now* and stop moping around!

God has blessed me beyond anything I could of imagined. I go to an amazing Christian school, where everywhere I turn there's a friend. I have the most awesome family in the world, and I realized that this weekend because my friends kept saying how great they were. I live in a country where I can do or be whatever I want. And I'm healthy and I can learn anything as long as I dedicate myself to it.

WHY THE HECK would I be discontent? I should be jumping for joy every second of the day, even when I'm asleep! God has blessed us all way way way more than we deserve because, honestly, we all deserve one thing only, and that's hell. Anything better than hell is wonderful. God is so gracious. Not only did he let me take that breath I just took, but He SAVED me by His grace. Why me? I will never be able to answer that. I don't even know if I would waste the energy to save me. I don't understand how He could love someone like me-- that Jesus would leave glory to come and die for me. Wow, it really is amazing grace. I should just shut up and not ask for anything else EVER because I already have enough.

So...I hope tomorrow will be a better day. I hate when I get like this, but it happens. Sigh. Someday I'll look back and be married and have an even greater life than I have now and think how silly I was. I hope so...and I'm praying so. Until then, I'll just have to wait and pray!

Goodnight!